Threads of Family: Grief, Healing & Restoration

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It has been a while since I have written something on Imbali due to a number of reasons- one being that I have been dealing with death in the family. Two weeks ago, I lost a step sibling and so began the journey to try and be there for my family which included traveling. But before that a lot had been happening at Imbali including workshops for children and adults and seeing joy spread across the faces of different participants has been a breath of fresh air. I am writing this blog post while in the air as I make my journey back home to Greece from Zimbabwe.

Lessons learned from the death of my sister

Imbali is a personal space for me and I sometimes like to share about my relationships with women who have impacted me on this journey. Being home in Zimbabwe has allowed me time to reflect on family and all that and I found myself wishing I had known my stepsister more and I know I could have done better in that regard. So, spending some precious moments with the remaining step siblings helped me decide how better to serve them in the future and I do believe God has given me some ideas to keep and maintain our relationships.

My late sister was the first-born daughter of my late father and late stepmother. I lived with her and her mum and my dad during 3-5^th grade, many years ago and so knew her but not very well, but the little I know or remember of her were fond memories. It was very precious and refreshing to hear of the kind of woman she had become, the gentle and quite woman she was and the love she had for her other siblings who looked to her as a mother figure.

I got to meet my stepbrother’s wife for the first time and their two beautiful daughters and was very encouraged to hear and learn about the love my sister-in-law has for sewing and of course for those who know me a connection was already established. I am grateful that from a place of mourning and hardship new relationships were formed and others were established and I do believe the future ahead is brighter and is going to be more fruitful for all of us especially in my relationships with my step siblings. God is truly a restorer of broken walls, builder of foundations long devastated.

I enjoyed traveling with my oldest brother to another city in Zimbabwe. This city is called Kadoma and it was there that I lived with my dad and stepfamily for 3 years of my childhood and I do have a few memories although my brother lived there longer and has more memories than I can count. I loved how, as we were driving, he would tell me stories of the different places and people he remembered. It was a time of healing for me. Then we did visit our old neighbor and saw the house I lived in for those three years-it looks different and has new owners, but it was truly good to have those memories of the time with my father when I was between the ages of 10-12. One of the things that blessed my heart and made the trip even more fun was going to David Whitehead Spinning mill. This has been a dream all these years I have been going back to Zimbabwe to find a place where they spin cotton especially because we are a cotton growing country and due to the economic challenges Zimbabwe faced this had died. As I am writing this, I am reminded of the chorus of the song Glorious Ruins, “Let the ruins come to life, in the beauty of Your Name. Rising up from the ashes God forever you reign. And my soul will find refuge in the shadow of your wings; I will love you forever and forever I will sing” It was beautiful to see what once was dead now showing signs of life again. Of course you guessed right I got some yarns for a weaving project which I am trying to resuscitate among a group of women some who weave in another part of the country.

Then, I got to see my aunt - father’s sister - who I had not seen in many years. I lived with my aunty for six months and they were not the best years of my life. Many things happened in my life during that time which I do believe have shaped me in many ways even though they were not pleasant.  God has used them to build strength, resilience and perseverance in my life. What I love about my time with my aunty who is in her 90’s was that I did share about some of the challenges with her, not to condemn or bring guilt but it was from a place of a healed woman extending grace and forgiveness and love to her. It was very precious for me to see how far I had come and what God had done and be willing to extend that to her and to embrace her with love and peace. I will treasure that brief time I had with my aunt. She is the oldest in my father’s family and most of her siblings have passed on. I am truly grateful to God for that and will always remember the time of healing and restoration this was to me.

This blog post reflects what I learned about family and a commitment I have made to be the big sister my step-siblings need in their lives. Thank you for taking time to read and pray for me and for my family as well.